Story Chapter 29

My teacher, Atakan, Tuğba and I were left in the room, again I asked my teacher what these bad things are, what kind of things can you explain, my teacher paused for a while and then barely said it, he said menstrual blood is needed, I was surprised and looked directly at the girl this time, the teacher continued his words, he said the menstrual blood of a woman who has not lost her virginity while she is menstruating, the girl blushed but I felt even more embarrassed when I heard these, he said these are the facts my son, this is what needs to be done, no matter how shameless and shameless it may sound, this is the way, this is the cure, there was silence in the room and no one said a word, I barely looked at the girl, I asked did you see what was in the mirrors, the girl looked into my eyes for a while and nodded her head yes with hesitation.

 maybe that is why the girl caught my attention, maybe because she also saw what I saw in the mirrors, while I thought I was the only one who experienced these things, while I was suppressing them, it was actually the fact that she experienced similar things that caught my attention, now that I think about it I understand better. I looked at the girl and said are you okay now, she just said I'm okay, her voice was as beautiful as hers, after this short conversation there was silence again, we weren't actually talking about it but deep down we were scared of the seal breaking incident that evening, all of our minds were there, the night was close now and as it got closer a heaviness, a delirium was falling on me, it was like the walls were closing in on me, I couldn't stand it anymore, I said brother, turning to Atakan, he looked at me, I said let's sit outside for a bit, my real intention was to smoke, then I turned to my teacher, meaning I was waiting for approval, he nodded his head meaning you can go out, we went outside the house and sat on a stone in the forest with this, I asked do you remember, what did he say, I didn't answer at all, I took out my mobile phone and turned on this song as an mp3, we used to listen to it a lot because we were good friends especially while drinking raki, I left the phone between us, we lit a cigarette each and started listening silently, I looked at Atakan, beads of tears were flowing from his eyes, when I saw him like that I turned my head to the other side and started to cry silently, on the one hand Tears were flowing from my eyes, while I was thinking, why I wasn't like normal people, why I didn't have a normal girlfriend, why I didn't have a normal life. We sat like that for a while, I think it was about half an hour, we didn't talk, we smoked cigarettes one after another, then we went back inside, the teacher was alone, the girl was in the kitchen side, Atakan sat on the cushion where the teacher was, I quickly walked to the kitchen side, the girl got a little nervous and a little embarrassed when she saw me, I said I feel you're lying, her head was down, then she looked into my eyes, she asked how did you know, my feelings had really gotten stronger since these events started, I told her that too, she said it's true, I lied, I asked why, I couldn't stand the sadness of my mother and father anymore, she smiled, I said I know that feeling very well, I asked if she still haunts me, she said yes, she told me her name without me asking, her name was ***, I asked if she comes in your dreams, is she in the form of a person or an animal, she said I used to have someone I loved very much, but he's not here anymore, he comes in his form, she said, she comes in his form even when I'm not asleep, she asked how is that happening to you, I said I see her in my dreams, I said okay, what is that thing you love It happened, he started to tell us, we bring our own wood from the forest around here, one day he went to the forest with his father to collect wood, his father brought him in his arms, he got sick in the forest and then he didn't get better and now he's gone, he said.

At first it started with dreams, I was having the same dream every night, I was in the forest, he was in front of me but he was always looking at the ground, the forest was pitch black, there was not the slightest sound, we were just face to face, his head was bowed but his image continued like this, then he disappeared from in front of me, he passed behind me but I couldn't see him, he leaned into my ear and said like a whisper from the wind, 'Ana Ba heb look' every night, when I heard these words, it was as if a wind was waking me up and I couldn't sleep until the morning, one day I came to my teacher and asked what it meant, he said it was Arabic, it meant 'I love you', I turned pale when I heard this, I said he was telling you his love, he said yes. I said okay, how did the transition from dreams to reality happen, one day I had the same dream again, with the sentence 'ana ba heb look' it was like someone woke me up, but there was something different, it was past midnight, my mother and father were sleeping, as usual I was planning not to sleep until the morning thinking I would have the same nightmare again, but this time there was something different, a voice from the door It was coming, there are few people in our village anyway, it was impossible to hear a sound at this hour, but it was coming, not like a door knocking, it was his voice, yes it was him, he was calling me, it was dark outside, the house was dark but he was calling, I had to go, he had come to me, I went towards the door, I opened the door, 10 meters away from the door he was standing like a statue with his head looking down as in my dreams, without the slightest movement, I wanted to go to him and I was going slowly, I was crying from happiness, he was alive, how had this happened, it was not a dream but him, my love was in front of me, I approached him, I lifted his head, he slowly turned his eyes towards me, I experienced the greatest fear of my life at that moment, these were not the eyes of my love, they were the eyes of this terror, this was the flame, his eye sockets were filled with smokeless fire, my tongue was stuck at that moment, I froze, I wanted to scream, I couldn't, I was looking into his eyes, I was just looking at the flame, I was startled by my father's voice, when I turned around, my father was running towards me, I turned back to the front, he was gone, I fainted where I was, when I woke up, I was in my bed, my father and mother were next to me, "That was the first time I saw him and experienced something physical," he said...

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