Story Chapter 23

They put Ataka's arm in a cast, the man's arm was broken in 2 places, you know, it was turned towards his back, that image is still in my mind, we had a chance to chat a little in the hospital, I asked if I was saved, he said that darkness inside me didn't go away, I asked what I mean, everything would be okay from now on, I was going to have lovers like normal people, I was going to sleep like normal people, my mother and father would be comfortable after days, did you fool me, he said no, I did what was written, but we will do it again just to know, if no one comes, know that we succeeded, he said, I told my mother and father that their family would worry about Atakan not seeing him like this, I told them that Atakan should stay with us for a while, I thought they would react but on the contrary they were happy, having a friend with me was an indication that I was normalizing for them, but everything happened because of this bastard, I had plans too, I will admit it for the first time here, I was thinking of killing him after I was saved but there was no need for that anyway, we were at our house for exactly 4 days after this incident it was later, we didn't try to call him again during this time, again as a good thing I haven't had any dreams these days, we were going to call him again that night, but this time I was going to manage it, the guy's arm was broken.

we prepared everything that night, we were going to do the same things, I took Atakan's place, he made me memorize something, at first read from paper but after a while you'll have to speed up, that's when you won't be able to look at the paper and you'll have to read from memory, he said, I who didn't memorize 2 poems at school, who didn't even know our oath, memorized 1 page of text word for word like a dog. We did the same things again, I was afraid to read after what I saw, but I was trying to relax, I had been comfortable for 4 days anyway, so they were gone now, I was thinking we should do it just to guarantee this, we waited 4 days especially, I showed myself well to my parents so that they would leave me alone for a bit so that Atakan and I could be alone and do the ritual comfortably, they went to the neighbor's that night, we started half an hour after the evening adhan was recited because there should be no sunlight left, we prepared the mirror, we lit the candles, we turned off the light, we started reading again with only candlelight, I read from a piece of paper for a while, I was holding the things we burned in my left hand, I continued in the same way, after a while the light wind came up again, I was looking in the mirror, when I looked in the mirror I understood why people speed up, I'm not saying that here, don't get into any trouble, there was no shadow this time, but I could see him, he had come, one of them had survived and his hatred was a hundredfold. He came and introduced himself, I asked him to introduce himself, this time he gave his answer when I first said it, he said I am *** son of *** from the *** tribe, I asked what do you want from us, his answer was the same again, he said murderer. i didn't burn and throw what i was holding in my hand at the mirror, or rather i couldn't throw it, destroying him was on the same level as destroying a person, i really would have been a murderer if i did that, atakan was standing in front of me with a broken arm, he just watched, i wasn't a murderer, what bothered me the most was that i lived through these things unjustly, my only guilty point was spending a few nights with the girl on the beach, i said i don't want to kill you, leave us alone oh son of smokeless fire, he whispered, murderer he said again, the owner of the necklace, my 7 ancestors, he said your 7 ancestors, it was meaningless, what i said was so hard for him, he was just saying what he knew, he didn't understand, he didn't accept, there was nothing physical, i was living that moment, they were always there, the point was to see them, i am gayyum, son of asraf from the lummelit tribe, leave me alone, don't mess with this innocent son of adam, give your evil to whoever deserves it, just ?????? he was whispering, I no longer have any patience or conscience, I was really going to be a murderer, if I weren't a murderer I would end up in a madhouse, I raised my hand to throw the burnt objects in my left hand at the mirror and at that moment I shouted what would kill him, cinnetü mir innas ifritün gayyum bin asraf, my left arm wasn't moving, it was as if it had frozen, as if it was stuck in a wall, I was repeating it while shouting cinnetü mir innas ifritün gayyum bin asraf, atakan was accompanying me, as if the wind was holding my arm, there was nothing physical but my arm wasn't moving, thanks to these readings I moved my arm very, very little, although most of the burnt objects spilled out of the mirror, some of them were on the mirror, the candles went out and another long gash formed on the mirror, the cramp-like thing in my arm was gone, I still felt incredible pain, we were sitting in the dark, it was as if my strength had run out, we didn't talk at all, at that moment we were suddenly startled by the fire, the book caught fire, Without understanding how it happened, Atakan threw down his jacket and extinguished it, saving the book from burning, how did this happen, we got rid of 5 of them, which one lit the book, the candles were also extinguished, there was no fire, how could a book catch fire on its own, we were fighting in vain, it was difficult to fight them with words alone, which people did not accept, which took every form.

I couldn't cope, I did what they told me, there was no one I didn't visit, I even risked becoming a murderer as a last resort, I even thought I was because I could apply what was written and throw some of the ones I burned into the mirror, I burned, I did, I tried, well if they all disappeared, I got rid of them while I was saying why did this motherfucker's book burn, why, who burned it, those who experience this, it's hard to let go without driving them crazy, I asked Atakan why did this book burn, he answered, they go away but their evil remains, their ancestors and families will follow you forever, they won't leave your seven ancestors alone except you, they won't, he was saying, would I never be able to be a normal person anymore, thinking about this could make me go crazy, even shoot someone in the head at that moment, it wasn't a dream, I was in reality and they would never leave me, wouldn't the amulets and readings work, would their ancestors follow me with even greater hatred as I tried to destroy them, what's the point of living There was, I was becoming a lunatic, not a human, maybe I would no longer be able to distinguish reality from dreams, because the one who couldn't get rid of this would end up with this in the end, they would see them as their family and start living with them, I wouldn't know unless I lived it, I offered to burn the book to Atakan, he didn't accept, he said it would be useful for us, I said no, let's burn it now, let everything be over, he asked, do you think everything will end when you burn the book, I said won't it end, he said no...

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